Intriguing Interrogatives ?

What you read is not just for me, it would rather be a small sub-class of the bigger lot...of my co-existing homosapiens. So...

Sometimes I think why can't...

I keep walking till my thoughts are exhausted?
I laugh so much that I don't have to laugh again?
I live my life full so that I don't have to be born again?
I fly so that the birds envy me?
I write so much that I hate writing?
I photograph so much that I completely loose interest in it?
I listen to the music for so long that I hate any sound after?
I work so hard that I don't have to do it again forever?
I be happy so much that anything would hesitate to disturb me?

Many times thoughts that often pops-up in mind...

What am I doing here?
What do I want?
How about travelling around the world non-stop?
Why that f****** luck never touches me?
Why don't I get the one's that I deserve?
Why do I exist simply when there is something else that I am passionate about?
Why am I always separated or away from the people I like?
Why do I always get pain more than love?

Always...

Searching for something that may not even exist...
Family first...
Trying not to hurt anyone...
Trying to help people around me...
For the ones who care for me a lot...
Thinking, could there be someone who can miss me so much...


Be it a blessing or disguise...I never try to find an answer for all of these. It's one at a time, always.

This self-portrait is especially for Neny who dedicated one to me...It's from my Vintage collection - have a special place for vintage, which I am fond of. Though I had thought of another image, felt this might seem more appropriate for the post. Anyways, that would be coming as the next.

And also I happened to come across a forward through an email and these are what it said about me after a few questions:

"You are the classic person that everyone loves. You are the best friend that anyone could ever have and never want to loose. You never cause harm to anyone and they would never not understand your feelings. Life is a journey it's funny and calm for the most part."

I guess its almost right, strangely. But all the above said bits and pieces of sometimes/ manytimes/ always is what that makes it funny. Seriously I am not sure what can one do once all the desires and likes are fulfilled. And of course it can only be a distant theory...

NOTE: This image might show me like an alien and bit different [due to shadows], probably because of the only light source suspended above, which I am dependent on. After all I get bored looking at my same face...Only constraint that I have here in my apartment is the light source [flexiblity that is very essential for photography]. But I have got used to it and like the challenge to use the one that is available.

...pheew, it is a big post, hope it helped in whiling away some time!

The Irreplacables...so close yet so far!

One more of my perspectives, we all have our own...you can let me know your perspectives on this. It's all in the frame.

Sometime back read in Chinmayee's page - where she mentions about those who do not perform a spell check, before posting. Well, mine is almost like that. I plan to drive off my laziness and type complete words rather than the shorter one's.

My likes are my perspectives. And I feel that is applicable to most of us. The stare at a distance says it all.

In other words, the first instinct is to perceive things/ life the way you want it to be. Like a vanilla cake decorated with chocolate cream and flakes - don't have to say about the aroma. But you can neither eat it full nor stop with just tasting the cream.

Too often I see people lost in thoughts, sometimes in mirror too. The irreplaceable vacancies are the ones that helps in realizing the importance of things in life, at some point of time. There are only a few who cherish it; most of us miss the first one [so many things: abstract or vice versa - life has got a bigger picture]. Blame it on time or an individuals taste or destiny.

If loneliness is the only resort in this planet everyone would own an island.

Today: If anyone is keen to know how it feels while am working on my abs or those who are curious to start: Imagine trying to get up - while being stuck on a sticky surface; with air pumps blowing mildly into both the ears; someone is pulling your neck back with a noose around your neck; with a hot coin kept on the chest...not to forget, someone trying to suffocate you by altering the breathing.

The Contradictions...

Self shot - with timer of 12 seconds...one more of those dayz ven I wanted to while away with the time. Cudnt think of anything better to suit the title, picture and content. Dont be worried "The Dark Age" is still not near. Juz that my desire to experiment with dark shades hasnt subsided yet. After all what can I do - If I don't have anyone to pose for me with shirts off, but to click myself! Of course being sure that Aamir wud never come to know of my blog...

For some reason I feel its really hard to read long posts, but these wud b lyk a note in the years to come for me. Especially when someone lyk me who is not so keen doing a self-analysis...If you are ready to challenge your patience, proceed to read.



...lyk to live simple in my own style, but stil fancy my chances of being in da fashion industry [as a photographer]
...lyk to be composed, but stil desperate for adventure
...Keen to be among da best places - nature has, but lazy to travel
...dont dream much for am too practical, but stil wish I have few super powers
...hate me n hate is wat one will get, but stil lyk Christ's preachings
...am strictly against non-violence, but stil lyk Gandhi
...am not addicted to anything, is it an addiction too!
...hate my spontaneity sometimes, but stil enjoy to see others being so
...can be a perfectionist, but most of da times I hardly try to
...some can forgive lyk me, but none can be as unforgiving as me [rarely n it depends]
...crazy about writing, but stil write very less
...word 'love' sounds alien to me, but I treasure care
...get fascinated by da rich colors, but stil fall for Black & white
...hate darkness, but not when I have a camera
...Did lotta sketching, but I dont even rem ven was da last time I sketched
...can be heard louder in a crowd, but I stick to my silence
...wudnt care about destiny too much, but for only one thing

This was taken when I wasn't working out. Probably would get some better one's after a month, since it has become a part of my daily schedule lately.