The Mask...

Is there a mask before all our faces...!

I hold the mask given to me, a feet away. It does not let us, to be us. I just try to be myself, always.

But it's true and my experience proves that people hardly like such characters. What's the point in faking! People always tend to forget that beneath the mask lies the treasure. Of course all treasures are found in containers with rust formed over the centuries. Well, only when people talk to me they like me, I explore myself more and that is one reason I like communicating. There have been many people who missed a chance of being part of my world, simply because they din't talk to me more. Fortunately, the more I explore myself - seems that a better side can be unearthed.

I know that I would end up having only a few around my coffin on the D-day. But I would be in my eternal sleep knowing that I have been true to my heart & those around me would know it as well.

Though the title is from the movie, this picture has nothing to do with it. It is a random self-shot that I tried out in my Canada apartment. Was tough setting it up as there wasn't any room for placing my camera. As always, its fun doing it.

NOTE: Never ever look into bright light resources, not good for eyes. I was using a low power light and din't look into it.

Victory Smiles...

.....Miles - Something that always goes along with the journey
...Smiles - Those which are like the milestones in the journey of life

Ever seen how victory smiles...

These two came first and so I walked briskly to the finish line as my friend Chaitu had informed me. It is a custom to take the picture of the horse and jockey who came first along with the owner, in the race track. I have not seen anyone so closer who has just won a race. We often hear "he/ she is on top of the world...looking at him you can say "he was on top of his horse".

Now coming back to my short absence from the blog...am on vacation and now in India. Landed here on the 7th & will be here in chennai till 27th September. You can mail me at sujay_sv@yahoo.com and I would be glad to speak to those, who send their contact no's. Currently I'm being fried and roasted with lot of sweat in chennai. It was supposed to be a relatively cold month & since I have chosen this time, the rain Gods have gone on a strike. I have been running around for my visa stuff & 20'C difference in temperature has taken a toll on my system.

But the few smiles that I wanted to see, makes the miles travelled priceless.

Controlled Care...

Control...that is the only invisible weapon that we desire to have on everything.

Most often it goes out of our limits...but till then everyone is a king/ queen in their own backyard.

Look at the way she is controlling her horse. It's a fabulous sight to see them control it, especially when the horses get excited/afraid...infact the race horses are accompanied by a well trained horse by their side before the race, to keep their head cool. She is riding on one such horse. It requires tremendous strength and control to ride a beast...most importantly, an understanding of the beast.

Wish I could let somethings go out of my control (Rang De Basanti style). There has got to be someone for me (for everyone else too), for I can be controlled by care and not a careless attitude.

Am I a beast too...!

On a frustrated hunger note: Me & my friend were shopping around the whole day today and were quite eager to end our day with 'Goat Biriyani', the best one. We got delayed due to a cashier, who was waiting for some information on a product price. So we missed our bus and had to wait to take the next one. After sometime we reached our destination, crossing another good restaurant on the way, just to hear that no orders would be taken. So we returned back to the one we saw earlier, only to be told by them that they are also closed. 10PM under the beautiful moon, sitting opposite to the same restaurant with hunger is ok. But to stare at the glowing lights & the running letters on the bill board that says "You can eat all for $9.99. Chicken Kebab, Mutton biriyani, Hot Naan, Tandoori chicken, Samosa, Vegetable pulao, Goat Biriyani, Aloo pakoda..." is deeply, seriously frustrating [Try it].

What not and you would not want to know what words were running in my mind...letters were still running outside the closed shutters of the restaurant, as we boarded our bus.

I almost lost my control...

Marks of a Guitarist #

Nothing soothes my mind like the sound from a flute (mostly metallic) or the strumming of strings from a guitar/ violin.

While my idle times are spent clicking the shutter buttons of my camera, there are times when I occasionally glance at the marks of the guitar strings in my fingers. I was keen to learn playing at least an instrument, for I always thought it was like a meditation. Unfortunately my guitar stints didn’t last for long and ended up picking up a camera. But I do have a friend Gideon, who is a wonderful guitarist and a singer.

'Rock on' is one of my latest favorites. Farhan Akthar simply rocks. In fact I didn’t know that it was him initially. I often keep humming that "Na na...nah nah...nah - Na na...nah nah...". Watch the movie if you have not, for it will give you a feel as if you have got something that you longed for - especially if you had aspired to be a musician!

Excellent portrayal of the desire to do what one wants from heart, even after years. Of course for that you need a spouse who dreams for you and is very passionate about you. If that happens, you would be the luckiest person.

NOTE: Girls...sorry about the awards that have disappeared. It's one of those experiments with the new looks for my blog as well. If nothing works out, will get them back where they were.

Beauty & The Beast

Beauty or Beast - Both react to care. It was a pleasing sight to see her take the horse around for a walk. Their movement was like dancing to a song that they only heard. Both moving with a touch of elegance and this is possible only when you bond with someone you like very much.

I have felt it with my pet Nemo [Pomeranian breed]. We used to rock our street, am missing him a lot. It’s not possible for me to get a horse now, but definitely looking forward to have a Labrador .

When I see the look in their eyes, sometimes I wonder what is it that people have in their mind that doesn’t let them speak, say what they want. Beasts are helpless, are we less in hope!

Well I guess it’s just the individual who has to know what he/ she want and decides what the heart says. Care is of utmost importance to me probably because I think too much out of my heart rather than my brain. But then in this ever changing world, change is not a constant.

How about changing for a change…

Fortune Teller...

How many of those end up clicking the one who bought them a fortune for the first time in life...!

Well I am one among the lot! It was hard to digest for me when I saw the two horses whom I bet on for the very first time, took the first two places...and I was still walking from the place from where I had clicked him when they finished. It was an amazing feeling. For some reason a thought did strike me - my fellow humans, whom I (we) count on let me (us) down many times.

But still I wonder, how can we call - A combination of strength of the marvellous beasts together with the smart & hard working jockeys - FORTUNE! Believe me, you would not be happy to have the diet of a jockey, it really sucks. And they sacrifice so many things just to be on top of their fitness & be light, so that their horse can accelerate quicker. "Sea Biscuit" impressed me immensely and I have been a fan of both the beast and its master since then.

NOTE: If I am asked for one of those snaps that am really satisfied of, it would be Run For It... . It does'nt look that hard but you have only split seconds to get the frame you want [though a bit of fortune is required]. You cannot feel it unless you try. If you have not seen the movie, see it - for it's full of amazing spirit, bond, trust, picturization & strength.

Run For It...

Race is on...and everyone has to run - Win or Lose.

To go to a race has been a desire for many years. When my friend Chitanya invited me to the race I can only accept it as last time could not join him. But then this week has been the worst for me and I required such a break. Infact I had thought of posting a self-portrait, which I had taken a week back. But then I did not want to bore everyone with my pictures.

This picture is one more of those attempts to capture those real moments. It was good to go out on a bright & sunny day and win few dollars (never mind about the loss).

I could read their eyes...some more snaps to come: the horse which won for me, close-ups, Stroll, etc., I admire these beasts for their strength, stamina and determination.

Intriguing Interrogatives ?

What you read is not just for me, it would rather be a small sub-class of the bigger lot...of my co-existing homosapiens. So...

Sometimes I think why can't...

I keep walking till my thoughts are exhausted?
I laugh so much that I don't have to laugh again?
I live my life full so that I don't have to be born again?
I fly so that the birds envy me?
I write so much that I hate writing?
I photograph so much that I completely loose interest in it?
I listen to the music for so long that I hate any sound after?
I work so hard that I don't have to do it again forever?
I be happy so much that anything would hesitate to disturb me?

Many times thoughts that often pops-up in mind...

What am I doing here?
What do I want?
How about travelling around the world non-stop?
Why that f****** luck never touches me?
Why don't I get the one's that I deserve?
Why do I exist simply when there is something else that I am passionate about?
Why am I always separated or away from the people I like?
Why do I always get pain more than love?

Always...

Searching for something that may not even exist...
Family first...
Trying not to hurt anyone...
Trying to help people around me...
For the ones who care for me a lot...
Thinking, could there be someone who can miss me so much...


Be it a blessing or disguise...I never try to find an answer for all of these. It's one at a time, always.

This self-portrait is especially for Neny who dedicated one to me...It's from my Vintage collection - have a special place for vintage, which I am fond of. Though I had thought of another image, felt this might seem more appropriate for the post. Anyways, that would be coming as the next.

And also I happened to come across a forward through an email and these are what it said about me after a few questions:

"You are the classic person that everyone loves. You are the best friend that anyone could ever have and never want to loose. You never cause harm to anyone and they would never not understand your feelings. Life is a journey it's funny and calm for the most part."

I guess its almost right, strangely. But all the above said bits and pieces of sometimes/ manytimes/ always is what that makes it funny. Seriously I am not sure what can one do once all the desires and likes are fulfilled. And of course it can only be a distant theory...

NOTE: This image might show me like an alien and bit different [due to shadows], probably because of the only light source suspended above, which I am dependent on. After all I get bored looking at my same face...Only constraint that I have here in my apartment is the light source [flexiblity that is very essential for photography]. But I have got used to it and like the challenge to use the one that is available.

...pheew, it is a big post, hope it helped in whiling away some time!

It's My World!

It was not long ago that I was the only reader of my blog. It was just me and my blog - a very small world. I think I was more like a lazy traveller who just wanted to see things from his perspective and enjoy it. One fine day it changed and I started travelling through the blogs, the best thing that could have happened to me. That's how some of you know me. Still I am not a frequent blogger, but lots of years is left for me and hope to reach as many as possible.

While everyone is sending wishes for a friendship day, I thought of saying this...


This picture is special because I had taken this picture, with an intention to make it look like a greeting card (well almost!). I am not quite sure how much you all like it ( I really was wondering what text color to choose from, gosh! how tough it would be for the web designers). But since this was my first attempt in doing so, in a way it is special. Am glad to share it with each of those who come across this.

Everyday is a new day and an opening card to get to know someone...blogging is a great way to do that. I do not know how long I would do it actively, but till then the people, their writing and their life's I would come across would definitely be as exciting as a journey for a treasure hunt.

We never know, how valuable it could be, like...
Some known faces...
Many unknown...
Thoughts that do not have faces...
Expressions that travel far...
Excitement that lits up the blog arena..

...again, am glad that you are in my world...and anyone who passes by also, have a great time.

NOTE: Just for all our nature conservationists concern - This was shot in it's natural habitat, no plucking - no touching. I usually don't disturb them.

The Italian Connection...

I am very fond of mirrors and whenever I pass one, I admire them. Not because they show how we change physically...for me the inner transformation is also equally important. Can see only my remains in the mirror now - changed for the good...how much? a lllottt...

Light on the left is natural from the setting sun and the one from the right is the tube light above. I knew the image has to be something different to remember it for a while. So were looking for multiple reflections out of it. One among the toughest, I had attempted as a starter!


This mirror is an Italian make. It showed me how I had changed over few years. Here I have seen bigger, better mirrors with intricate design. But I miss the one that shared the room with me within the four walls, especially for couple of years. It was a time that I had opted for a career switch and I would definitely not say that those were the toughest times. The period was crucial, for it did prove to me the theory of relativity - slowed up every possible moment for me. But I deeply admire people who achieve things, when situations are worser than this. Personally I know some too. Ironically can't help but smile when looking at people who take things for granted with so much luxuries at their disposal.

Photography, writing and blogging were the one's that kept me going during that period. Was more like a meditation to me as I had no other options. I have seen and had enough, now I am left with nothing but lots of affection and care to show to someone special...[don't know yet]

On a lighter note: I liked the movie Rab Ne Banade Jodi...was a good movie to me. I was able to relate to it because I can't forget the way I used to go around a decade back, like the Shah Rukh with shirts tucked in with spectacles - utter formals. No one would recognize me if I go now [some of my school friends ask me who I am]. That's what time does...transforms people like me, forever!

Your mirror would have a story for you as well...hear it.

Rendevouz with...

This is not the rendevouz with Simi Garewal...

A very ordinary snap...but does'nt it seem like the flower itself is being interviewed...well it's upto the observer. And this is the interesting perpective that I wanted to captivate which I had mentioned in a post sometime back Framed Forever[ ] . I like that show too, though I don't get to see it often. Such interviews really helps get to know people - the taste of the celebrities & their life style.

Apart from being a nature enthusiast, I like observing people too - especially when there are lots of cultural differences. Adaptability is one of my strengths and I enjoy, being in such ambience.

Future - Right Ahead!

There is something that always makes me curious and delighted...kids.

It is not just few times, but almost all the times. More often than not I get into eye contact with the kids, it just happens. I have observed that till I go out of their sight they watch me, sometimes even from their stroller. Of course, I do turn back to say them a bye. Obviously, I like such moments...

And I do not prefer to take pictures of peope just like that. I had walked past 30 feet and had to zoom the telephoto lens to its maximum. This kid kept looking at me from the point he saw me. You can't expect me to walk away simply, when I am possessed.

He must have thought...there lies ahead my future and my planet spoiled by these overgrown brats...

I happen to be around all the kids, but still away from my Shana...I had taken couple of close up pictures, when she was 6 months ( my brother flew in from the UK to show her to us and went back) and had it framed in the hall. And my parents were saying when she returned home after a year, she used to point at it and say in her language "adhu naan" - meaning "that's me". My brother is not keen to get it on the web, so can't publish it. But tell you what, those are among the cutest pictures one can see...and the way she was smiling at me, is fresh in my memories.

I found her the name : in Hebrew it means 'Beautiful' - she is and definitely is a darling to me.

The Irreplacables...so close yet so far!

One more of my perspectives, we all have our own...you can let me know your perspectives on this. It's all in the frame.

Sometime back read in Chinmayee's page - where she mentions about those who do not perform a spell check, before posting. Well, mine is almost like that. I plan to drive off my laziness and type complete words rather than the shorter one's.

My likes are my perspectives. And I feel that is applicable to most of us. The stare at a distance says it all.

In other words, the first instinct is to perceive things/ life the way you want it to be. Like a vanilla cake decorated with chocolate cream and flakes - don't have to say about the aroma. But you can neither eat it full nor stop with just tasting the cream.

Too often I see people lost in thoughts, sometimes in mirror too. The irreplaceable vacancies are the ones that helps in realizing the importance of things in life, at some point of time. There are only a few who cherish it; most of us miss the first one [so many things: abstract or vice versa - life has got a bigger picture]. Blame it on time or an individuals taste or destiny.

If loneliness is the only resort in this planet everyone would own an island.

Today: If anyone is keen to know how it feels while am working on my abs or those who are curious to start: Imagine trying to get up - while being stuck on a sticky surface; with air pumps blowing mildly into both the ears; someone is pulling your neck back with a noose around your neck; with a hot coin kept on the chest...not to forget, someone trying to suffocate you by altering the breathing.

The Contradictions...

Self shot - with timer of 12 seconds...one more of those dayz ven I wanted to while away with the time. Cudnt think of anything better to suit the title, picture and content. Dont be worried "The Dark Age" is still not near. Juz that my desire to experiment with dark shades hasnt subsided yet. After all what can I do - If I don't have anyone to pose for me with shirts off, but to click myself! Of course being sure that Aamir wud never come to know of my blog...

For some reason I feel its really hard to read long posts, but these wud b lyk a note in the years to come for me. Especially when someone lyk me who is not so keen doing a self-analysis...If you are ready to challenge your patience, proceed to read.



...lyk to live simple in my own style, but stil fancy my chances of being in da fashion industry [as a photographer]
...lyk to be composed, but stil desperate for adventure
...Keen to be among da best places - nature has, but lazy to travel
...dont dream much for am too practical, but stil wish I have few super powers
...hate me n hate is wat one will get, but stil lyk Christ's preachings
...am strictly against non-violence, but stil lyk Gandhi
...am not addicted to anything, is it an addiction too!
...hate my spontaneity sometimes, but stil enjoy to see others being so
...can be a perfectionist, but most of da times I hardly try to
...some can forgive lyk me, but none can be as unforgiving as me [rarely n it depends]
...crazy about writing, but stil write very less
...word 'love' sounds alien to me, but I treasure care
...get fascinated by da rich colors, but stil fall for Black & white
...hate darkness, but not when I have a camera
...Did lotta sketching, but I dont even rem ven was da last time I sketched
...can be heard louder in a crowd, but I stick to my silence
...wudnt care about destiny too much, but for only one thing

This was taken when I wasn't working out. Probably would get some better one's after a month, since it has become a part of my daily schedule lately.

Collated emoticons!

One sentence that I often quote is "Life throws a bunch of surprises". It all results in, well a mixture of emotions, I say - Collated emoticons!

We all have our own collection isn't it?


It's a pleasure to watch both kids & flowers grow, from close by. Both are full of energy and can make one smile, feel fresh, light & make our day brighter. Now I miss my little darling Niece - Shana very much and can't wait to get back to chennai! Whatever, I still remember the smiles (which I had forgot) she brought of me when I held her in my hands one year back. But for now its juz diff varieties of flowers around Richmond to stare at.

If you were wondering what's so special about this shot...it was among my first few shots from the first day of my stint with my new camera in chennai, 2 yrs back...n am stil a beginner! I wanted to use it on something and walked down my apartment to the front yard with these flowers...